Something In The Air

I think Mars is in retrograde again.  I cannot communicate, I'm off somehow.  It's not just with my people, it's everyone.  Which convinces me that it's something in the air.  I can usually chit chat with the best of them.  Make someone laugh.  Take my husbands ever changing schedule in stride.  Handle the kids.  Not this week.  Communication is not working and it's everyone and everywhere.  I'm going to spend the rest of this week being quiet.

Anna has her first runway show coming up at Dillard's.  Yesterday we went for her fitting.  At these things you just want to be nice and love everything they have picked for you.  While Anna was changing, I decided to charmingly chat up the ladies helping us.  Last weekend was tax free weekend and around here it's like Black Friday.  It's every woman for herself.  I have had this same conversation with no less than 10 other retail people and we all walked away laughing at the absurdity of it all.  Not today.

Me:  Were you guys busy this past weekend?
Lady:  No.  Not too much.
Me:  (I'm shocked.  Everyone has been crazy busy)  Kohl's was a mad house. 
Other lady:  Kohl's? (blinking at the lady as if she never heard of the place or tax-free weekend)
Lady:  It's cheaper...cheaper clothes.
Me:
(I have to say, she never heard of Kohl's, wtf?!  Was that a jab?!  I remain silent though, because Anna)
Lady:  Kohl's was busy (Not a question nor a statement)
Me:  I had (cough) Kohl's cash.
Lady:  (walks away)

This has never happened to me before.  I excel at idle chit chat usually.  I can usually at least get a smile. 

Anna and I head over to get an Icee.  I am completely impressed with the lady counting back change like we did in the olden days.  The guy in front me was less so, and makes her it count it again, she was a nickel short, but immediately fixes it, (I think she knew it as she had already reached for the  nickel slot.)  I interject with a joke I had used before, back when I was a cashier at B&N (counting back change).

Me:  If she does that all day the bottom line looks great at the end of it!  (laughing at my own joke)
Guy:
Cashier:
Anna:  (rolls her eyes directly at me and walks away)

Damn.

My husband, who last week I was frolicking around with in the pool, is also afflicted.  He's getting ready for a trip and no matter what I say it must sound like, "Well, damn.  You suck."  I am sure I have not actually said those words.  Why this is what he is hearing, is beyond me.  His work travel has always been a part of our lives.  Timing has really never been awesome, when you've been in the military, you are just glad it's not Christmas.  They teach you the hard way and early to put your expectations in the gutter.  I guess I am not sure what he actually said, because there is no way he said, "I don't get what is so hard."  My response regardless: 

Monday I quit communicating directly with Jesse because, I am ashamed to admit, we got him a phone, an iPhone.  In our defense the adult children are now on their own plan and we found ourselves with an extra phone.  Yeah, I know.  It sounds weak just typing it out for you.  He calls me, we FaceTime, we text.  He loves emoji's, so do I, it was fun at first.  Then he called while sitting right next to me.  Then he called me from downstairs and asked me to bring him juice and Doritos.  We discussed proper phone usage and I laid out the rules.  He quit talking to me as well.  I am completely unreasonable.  Now we just text.

Since he was 2 ft away from me I ask, "What did you just text me?" 

"I have no idea." 

"Well, I love you more than a million dollars too." 

"Yeh."

It wasn't, he texted me a sneeze.  A sneeze.  Then I heard him sneeze.

The videos were of Daisy (adult child's gf) and I watching the Olympics.  He was sitting next to Daisy.

On the vein of miscommunication, I have to mention the whole back to school shopping experience.  You know what it's like elbowing your way in for the last of the purple, 3 tab w/pockets poly folder.  You try to smile at people but also let them know you will take them down for that last white 1 1/2" binder with a clear pocket front.  My inability to locate a pencil sharpener and my rebellion in only buying one scissors had me say out loud, "This is ridiculous!"  He does not need 2 scissors.  He will have to keep track of the one.  The lady next to me heard me and suddenly wanted to have a full on discussion and coffee.  No.  No, Target shopper, I'm about to spend $1,000,000 in school supplies, I can't bond right now.  You should of heard me earlier in the week, shopper, I was ready to bond and hilarious.  That ship has sailed.

Being that it's only Tuesday, I think I am done.

Kongos...I don't know either, man.