Define Naughty

Holy baby Jesus!  All the hall decking and good cheer spreading...it's exhausting.  I'm hanging on to my Christmas spirit by a thread, a thin thread of tinsel.  At first, I wasn't really sure about it because I was trying.  Trying not to get in a Christmas funk as I was spending money, ticking off the list, driving in traffic, people being rude.  I was like, "I got this",  I was "Merry Christmasing" everyone, smiling... Unfortunately it became clear to me that that tinsel thread was fraying when this happened:

Caller: Mrs. Lucas?
Me with an eye-roll:  Yes?
Caller: This is Lisa from Allstate-
Me:  Look Lisa, I don't want to be rude but I don't have time for this.  We have USAA -
(I was going to tell her we were very happy with USAA and to please remove us from their calling list.  Ending with a heartfelt Merry Christmas and have a good night.)
She cut me off.  Cut. Me. Off.
Lisa:  Right, Tonya, (Oh wait...what?  We are now on a first name basis?) I heard you.  You're busy I'll call back another time.
Me:  Well, you little bitch!  (K.  Right?  I normally say this kind of stuff in my head, but in this situation I accidentally said it out loud.)  You called me, interrupted me...you know what...(starting to feel a little bad) Merry Christmas.
She had already hung up.

I was all, to myself , "Whew...that was nuts."  I shook my head, I better pull my stuff together.  I went to Belk and another random person didn't understand the whole 'Stop Sign' situation.  I yelled, again out loud, this time to myself in the car, "You want me to get out of this car and teach you how to use a stop sign!?"  I might've dropped an f bomb.  I then continued to rant aloud when a white SUV wouldn't let me over.  I forced myself into the lane and quickly realized I was disoriented and needed to be in the turning lane -on the other side of the lane that I was just in.  I was that person.  That person you see driving like a jerk.  I feel it important to note here, that I do not normally have road rage.  I never yell at other vehicles-unless it is a blatant violation and my children are present and I demonstrate 'the bird'.  I screamed, out loud, by myself in the car with no one to impress -impress bad behavior on.

Next stop was Target, f'ing Target.  I spent way too much money there and the cashier was all,  "Do you have a Target Red card?"
"Yes, I do, but I'm doing a thing with this card."  The little swipe machine starting honking rudely at me.
"Your card has a chip." As the thing continues to bleat at me.
"Oh, right, habit to swipe," I say with a smile 'cause...whatever.  I don't even care about anything anymore.
"Push it in until it clicks."  Really?  I resist the urge to make a bad joke.
Transaction done, cashier says "Have a Merry Christmas" as if it was for the one thousandth time.
Yeah right, Target guy, now I'm broke, Merry Christmas.  Which, luckily managed to stay in my head, I replied with a smile and an "You too."
I need to get it together.  This is Christmas.  The day baby Jesus was born.  Baby. Jesus.  And here I am struggling just to be human.

We also had the work Christmas party Friday.  Dear Lord...I did not behave myself.  My friend Maria walked in saying, "Let's get a shot."  I was all, "All right...I'm in!" and I was "in" all night.  All my girls and I doing shots like rockstars.  We danced, we sang, we completely misbehaved.  It was so much fun.  Last thing I remember was looking for my shoes.  I left my purse.  Maria was all, "I knew what you were doing...you didn't need it."  So. Much. Fun.

So, coming back to losing my Christmas spirit, I think I know where it is at, it's at the bottom of one of those Target bags.  I'm going to get it, because really, it's Christmas.

What's Next?

What an awesome week!  Sam is done!  (Check the website http://www.tonyajean.net for complete illustrations).  Sending him off to publishers today -Wednesday at the latest! I would love to tell Caye we got published.  Please pray for us or what ever you do to communicate with Whoever.

Progress felt good.  I felt like Tom Hanks after he found a mermaid -mostly just where he sings with a mango but this was the only clip I could find.

Nothing could bring me down, not even Walmart.  Not even when the old couple in front of me who needed a price check and then got into an argument about it.  "Don't mind me!  I have all the time in the world!"  I even held her hand and wished them a Merry Christmas.  I gave my last dollar to the bell ringer guy with all his Jesus jewelry,  I even complimented his hat.  Sam is done!  So I was smiling and waving at every body.  Every. Body.

I started the watercolor rainbow sun.  The kids and I used to do these painting's we called "Rain Paintings".  On a rainy day, we drew a pictures with Crayola markers and would set them out in the rain for a few seconds.  We usually drew fish or flowers but, I'm going to give it a shot with this.   Now just waiting for rain...

The studio is free.  I have no idea what I am going to work on next and I couldn't be more excited by that.  No little sinful caterpillars looking at me, What's It Saying is still very much a blank canvas.  Maybe I'll go there next?  The thing is, I love a blank canvas.  This and music and maybe some tea or wine...I can't wait to se what happens!  

The only thing I "have" to do is paint and glue 123 wooden spools for Jesse's class.  His teacher saw a picture on Pinterest.  F'ing Pinterest.  They will be snowman ornaments when it's all done.  I should have said, "Those, with the melted snowman ornament and the snowman button cards, might be too much."  Instead, I said, "Sure!" with a smile thinking that I would just figure it out.  If you need me, I'll be in the studio under a pile of wooden spools figuring it out.

Let's do a rain dance.