It's Not Easy

If I read even one more article about how easy it is to self publish your picture book through this avenue or that.  If I waste one more minute reading or following their simple instructions that lands me right back where I started from, I'm going to have a full on hissy fit.  Unfortunately, I save these articles to read during elementary school carline so I would lose it there.  In car line.  It's bad enough that half the time I show up unshowered and distracted.  People would probably see me losing my crap thinking, "Yup.  There she goes" or "It was just a matter of time" as they shake their heads watching the shit show.

Really though, I went to college, I can read and follow directions.  Amazon's "easy" self publishing tool?  Yeah, I have recruited the help of a professional -for the computer not my head.  The thing is, when you are working with a  new program like Kindle Kids' Book Creator it's like learning a new language.  You have to click around and see how it works,  then you You Tube some shit and Google too.  But, when I click on the preview thing and it doesn't do what it is supposed to, I'm like, "Hmmm.."  If unplugging or using a different browser doesn't fix it, that's it folks, that's is the extent of my computer knowledge.  Like a monkey, I try the same thing a few more times before I call in help.

As I mentioned, this book should have been done a long time ago.  When you need help ask for it.

“Doing research on the Web is like using a library assembled piecemeal by pack rats and vandalized nightly. ” 
― Roger Ebert

I need help.  Contrary to popular belief, the problem is not of the whiskey variety...it's spring.  Every spring I walk into Home Depot and think I am the step child of Mother Nature.  I have a list of seeds and plants that I have room for.  I leave with those and things like borage, anything organic or heirloom gets me off; usually I get an idea for a new bed that I'll put somewhere.

I dropped my daughter off at an appointment and was headed to a coffee shop.  It is not my usual part of town so I was relying on there being a Starbucks to pop up on my google maps.  When suddenly I spot a nursery I haven't seen before.  I slammed my brakes and flipped a U'y right there like I remembered my oven was on and my house was burning down.  Right there on that very busy street.  Only one person honked, but I didn't even care.  I flipped him off because...Nursery.

I walked in telling myself I'd just look.  Being that it is a privately owned nursery, I knew things would be more expensive.  I would just look.  I don't know what happened.  Suddenly I had a 2 tier buggy and it was full.  The husband and I just had that, "let's save money" conversation, but I could not help myself.  I called Janice and demanded she figure out an intervention for me.

I've already been to Home Depot...and Lowe's.

 
I ordered the new mum notecard, pictures soon. T-Rexy is with the computer guy and I've been going pretty hard on the novel.  Plus, spring...

Herb garden                                                              New bed

My neighbor, seeing me getting stuff in the ground, asked I wanted the tomato cages he built.  He said he didn't need them any more?  I'm still trying to figure that out.  I practically hugged him; okay, I'm lying, I totally hugged him, it might've even be considered a tackle in some circles.  Then I carried off my new cages.

“Novels and gardens," she says. "I like to move from plot to plot.” 
― Bill Richardson, Bachelor Brothers' Bed & Breakfast